Australia opens up for tourists today, and for most of us in the world, we get to travel again, it’s a happy day, but then again, I’ve learned to reset my perception on happiness. I’ve learned that even from the deepest woe, comes lessons that we can all learn from, then the event that made us sad or angry in the first place, can still become a memory of happiness.

And that’s why, I decided today’s post will be a personal essay, about life…. and I want to share a small story with you.

How many times have you said to yourself – what if I get the chance to turn back time, would I have done things differently?

Maybe too many times. Maybe never.

I used to think about this all the time. After all, I am a bit of an overthinker. You won’t see it, but in my head swirls a thousand questions. What if? How? Why? When?

2020 (and 2021, for that matter) gave me plenty of time to overthink. Then I thought: “Why does it all matter whether I think about it or not?”… and then I overthink THAT.

Then, as it turns out, at the end of last year, I was presented with a chance to change.

My landlord of 7 years decided it was time to give the flat to his daughter, so I had to move out.

After two years or contemplation on life and my existence, I was suddenly not given time to think and plan, let alone overthink.

I had to act. Fast.

As it turns out, less landlords out there want tenants with pets (or children, by the look of the rental adverts… “No Pets. No Children under 5”) so my search for a new home was getting desperate every week approaching move out date. Graciously, my landlord did end up giving me 2 months extension so that I can find a place, but even so, the chances of finding a place suitable for my needs (public transport to airports, pet friendly, near outdoor running/cycling routes) were slim in and around London.

So, on a whim, one day, I decided to buy. Gathered every cent of my emergency funds I had left over, called a broker who specialised in freelance professionals, started looking at properties and within 2 days of that decision, I placed an offer on a flat that happened to be reduced in price because the sellers were desperate to sell after a sale had fell through.

And in the end, I had exactly enough savings to make the minimum deposit, along with the mortgage the bank was willing to lend me (thanks to the ability of the broker who used my professional assets rather than my actual salary to convince the bank I was worth investing in), I moved into that flat on the same day my extended lease ended.

I know, it’s not really all that devastating if you think about it. A first world problem as we call it, but I’ve learned a lot from this experience.

I was sad and worried about being kicked out of a lovely flat I was renting, just as I was sad and worried about the whole situation when Covid restrictions first began in 2020. During a bout of tears about having to leave a place with so many memories good and bad, someone close to me said these wise words: “This is your chance to move on, to finally reset your life the live the way you want. You’ll always have the good memories, and you can now choose never to be reminded of the bad memories in that flat.”

As I write this, I am taken back to the days I spent overthinking all the what ifs, and that ultimate “would I have done things differently” question… I realised that I have learned to let go of finding that answer.

Why? Because I am exactly where I am meant to be. I have been shaped by every experience in my life, the highs and lows, the triumphs and disappointments. Without them, I wouldn’t have taken the next step, and the next step, and the next step to be who I am now.

So no, I don’t want to travel back in time to ‘fix’ things even if it was ever possible. I don’t want to know if things would have turned out differently. I just know, right now, I am in my own flat, I am living, and I am happy.

In the end, that’s all that matters.