First and foremost, a disclaimer. Just because I am about to say bad things about certain genders doesn’t mean I hate everyone.

It’s like that recent Gillette ad that highlights toxic masculinity, with a new slogan to call on men to be the best they can be, (instead of the old “the best the men can get”) a message for men to live at a higher standard in their treatment of women, which both received praises and critic among the male community.

Some men believe the ad is generalising that all men who are “masculine” are violent men, which of course, we all know is not true, but they feel so strongly to be subject to such assumptions that they want to boycott the brand.

And while I do love the ad and its message, I feel the concern.

That’s the problem with society. We make too many assumptions and generalise people/things/opinions, and this attitude alone, causes the exact thing I want to talk about. It’s something that women have to live with constantly, and I give only a few examples here.

It’s the time when my ex-husband and I holidayed in Phuket, and the hotel staff approached my husband just as we walked into the lobby of the hotel: “Sorry sir, we don’t allow prostitutes here.”

It’s the time when I was a business trips with colleagues, and while waiting for everyone to get ready for dinner I decided to have a drink a the hotel bar alone, only to have other men walk very slowly up and down my chosen table, sizing me out.

It’s the many times that I’ve had a drink by myself, while on my many trips as I travelled alone. The glances, the suggestions, the offer for warmth for the night.

And this article by the BBC, which the same concerned colleague from the business trip sent me, reminded me that we, women, even in the Century we are in now, are still subjected to much of the assumptions and generalisations, where if you are eating and drinking at a bar, or if you are of Asian features in the arms of a Western man: you must be a prostitute.

Sad isn’t it? I am not saying the same assumptions don’t apply to men. In fact, I will say that I know for a fact (having worked as a travel agent) , that single men who buys a ‘holiday’ in certain countries, who are travelling alone, are often immediately thought of as just going to get shagged.

Yet, even that status doesn’t degrade them in society as much as being branded as a prostitute.

Travelling alone is one of the best travel experiences anyone can have. For both men and women, it is a journey that develops you, give you new perspectives, allow you to make new friends. Yet, negative experiences will make many people re-think their decision to travel alone.

I’ve never let these things stop me from doing what my heart desires, but let’s all step up a bit eh? Let’s all be the best we can be, both men and women.

Respect is all it takes.